Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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