still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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