i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
A bitchslap is in order.
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