just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
