just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
