Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
