i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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