I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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