i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize