haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize