his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
