Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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