yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
