Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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