you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
