sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
