I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize