He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Randomize
