does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
