If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
