your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
