I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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