Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
