I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
