I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
