Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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