Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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