Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
