so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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