i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
