I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
