She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
