This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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