I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
well you can't waste a boner
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
