i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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