So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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