Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
