he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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