Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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