dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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