Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
