Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize