How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
