my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
