I want to walk on stilts...naked
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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