haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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