I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
