I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
