Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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