I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize