I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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