so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
