If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
