Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
