Heybabeimwearingurpanties
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
So many bounce houses so little time
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
