I think I died a long time ago.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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