I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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