I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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