handjob tips. give me some.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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