The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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