If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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