then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
