I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
zippers are such a cool invention
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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