the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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