Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
